Previous England leader Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the moment," he said.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition progresses.
"Possibly that's trauma or possibly I process things uniquely, and after I have the information, it's simpler," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans indicated nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still competent to doing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the disease claims a one-third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of detection, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Medical care can only slow decline.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced removing the drops off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was being in the present.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be extremely intensely directed on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been truly lucky that the only real choice I made when I left playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Athlete Connection
Elite sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the O2 obtainable and causing harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, intense training can activate the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his fearless, relentless style to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into tackles.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the critical passage of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding field goal.
Assistance System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a few other ex- players about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the present, just having that kind of affection and acceptance that people are present is all that matters," he said.
"This game is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your profession, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Achieving this for so considerable a period with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
